it's not about being as cold as everyone else monkey... honestly, i look up to you, to everyone else on this board too. It feels... even in mental illness... that I am still different. Less. still sub par. to life as to others. I can't be well untreated. I can't be well treated. I feel that if society knew what was best for them they would cast me out cuz I'm like the runt, the one who brings the pack down. the one who doesn't get it. Ugh... maybe i have inferiority complex. who knows.. just another thing to add to my list.

I do understand that others suffer more than me and they should come first out of necessity