I lost a dear Aunt when I was 13. I only truely felt her going this yr in therapy as I talked about it with T. It wasn't safe as a child to feel emotion because like you my step mother stole my emotions and used them against me.

((granite)) 13 is a rough age for anyone, even more so when you are in the constant abuse you were in. Earthmamma is right, it wasn't safe for you to show emotions back then, your mother would have used them against you. Be kind to yourself, maybe you are starting to grieve now.

exactly what I was going to say. the mother had no boundaries, she was getting into your ***** in a horrible way. I wonder if age 7 felt like a safer time? when did you start building your imaginary world? maybe that's why you said 7. anyway, you always make such excellent use of your time in session, each one is like a work of art. but that's because your t is able to match you in that intensity. on the other hand, my brain is like a sandy beach...