My great grandfather was the closest male in my life. I loved him and he loved me. He took me to farmers market with him (just he and I) and paid me to drive tractor during harvest. He even bought me compound W, because as a child I had 20 some odd warts all over my hands...nobody cared , but he did when we talked about it one day. He was also the first death of a family member that I really knew and cared about, I never mourned it...I still have his hats hanging in my wo"man" cave. I think i was 18 or so when he passed, I don't think i went to the funeral either. Doesn't matter, I prefer to keep his memory alive in my mind, because he loved me unconditionally. I understand Granite.