Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristiemarie
I am a hot mess today. Well, was yesterday too.
I can blame it on the pregnancy to others but I know without a doubt, it's not. I have had these episodes for years. Just harder to control them now. Instead of silently dealing with the frustration, sadness, loneliness...I burst into tears. And that in and of itself is frustrating.
I was having a perfectly good day yesterday. Then I find out my husband is going to be doing something without me today (wednesday). Something I wanted o do. I go from fine to pissy, sad, dejected, angry in a few hours. Like a kid ho doesnt get her way. Irrational? Crazy? Yes. But here I am feeling really upset about this. And I can't shake it. He called this afternoon and I started crying again.
Can something bump you out of mania (full blown or hypo) into depression?
I've only been tracking my moods for a short time so I'm still learning where the curves, peaks and falls are...I'm just curious if this is part of it or of I never really hit a high or if I'm imagining everything. I want to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can about bp and really any other mental illnesses because I have been struggling with issues for around 15 years.
Any insight to cycling? Do you just pop in and out? Wake up to them? Slide Ito them?
Thanks!
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One of my biggest triggers is being left out of things I would like to be included in. I was an only child and always alone. My cousins were all boys and usually we all played together but then they would decide I was a girl and leave me out. As I got older I had abusive friends who would do things like vanish for weekends and then come back, "Oh, we went camping, everyone was invited but you! You wouldn't have had fun anyway." And then again my family they all go on ski trips, parties, take their kids up in the mountains, etc. But I'm never invited (or my kids either.) A great example is one of my cousins got married out of state in June. The whole family rallied together to make sure everyone got to go... except for me.... I was the only person in my whole family that wasn't there, because I couldn't afford a plane ticket. So I look at all the pictures of the wedding and all the fun stuff they did that weekend, and it breaks my heart.
So, after a lifetime of this, when it happens I can't stand it. So, you're not alone in that.
And yes, it is triggering. I can go from perfectly fine to completely off the wall because of it. I try to rationalize myself out of it but it's like a tsunami of emotion.
