How you found yours?
I asked friends and family.

What the first appt was like?
I was a basket case. It was 5 years ago so I don't really remember much. I do recall him telling me that he was a "safe man", and that his office was a "safe place". That meant a lot to me. He sounded honest.

When did you know it clicked, or not?
That happened pretty quickly. We have a similar sense of humor. He’s very bright. That helps me.

Male or female selection and why?
I had tried 4 women before him. NEVER thought I could connect with a man. Huh. Who'd a thunk.

Age difference and did it matter?
He's a few years older. I would not have gone to someone younger than me. I wanted someone with a lot of life experience and professional experience.

Their personal style.
Warm, friendly, but very focused on only me and our work.

Type of therapy.
We started with some CBT at my request, moved on to an eclectic mix.

Transference issues, if any.
I went through an intense period of "oh my gosh I love my therapist". It was awful. Funny, I was just thinking about this today - this was when I first met Dr. John in 1999. He was in a chat room somewhere for a scheduled chat. I confessed to him, my "love" for my therapist. He spent quite a long time chatting with me about transference, and strongly encouraged me to talk to my T about it. I REALLY didn't want to...but I did it. Talk about embarrassing! It took a few months to get beyond it, but I did. It really helped our relationship, and my therapy. Thank you Dr. John!!!

How long you've been going
5 years

Anything else you feel like sharing.
Therapy is the hardest work I've ever done. Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel, and say, stick a fork in me, I'm done! But, with my history, and my job, and my family, I guess I'm a lifer! :-) I do take breaks, and go through periods when I just drop in for "tune ups".

Because of my wonderful T, our hard work, and MY courage, I've been able to change my life for the better. A mid-life crisis turned into a new career I love. I could not have done that without my T. I sure as HECK ain’t perfect, but I’m a much improved version of me.

I'm sending heart felt thanks to my T and all people helpers on this planet. :-)

Emmy


"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- The Dalai Lama