yeah I hate when they say, YOU have to figure it out. Don't they realize it can take some of us like 30 years? That's too slow! Well, maybe they DID say it, and I just couldn't hear it. Bear to hear it. Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe they were that dumb, that ignorant, that judgmental, that petty. But they (ie FOO) were. I kept thinking the T's were saying that I had to accept something about the FOO, something that would make me wrong and them right, but I couldn't accept that I was wrong, nor could I figure out wtf that resolution could possibly be!

I think your talking about work set the theme for the session, about being prepared for every eventuality, about handling everything perfectly - so why not THIS?

But how do you have an "authentic" r/s with someone who can only see you as a figment of their imagination? I always thought my mother was like Marilyn Monroe - she would transform herself for work every night, fix her hair and put on rouge and red lipstick and frankly be unrecognizable from what went INTO the bathroom an hour before. I think she's been waiting for my similar transformation, but I never became THAT person, that LADY-daughter she expected would hatch out of nowhere - maybe from reading a 'TEEN magazine