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Originally Posted by lostmyway21
Sorry I haven't posted in a while just needed to get this out.
So I had a session today. Started off pretty slow, nice walk. We talked about me applying for my recent EMT job and how that went. Then it went quiet. Sorry the next part is in pieces. I was dissociating. I asked if he was frustrated with me and he said yes. He said that I always turn upset and down and depressed no matter how positive things are going in my life. He said that I can leave session feeling good and within hours I'm feeling down. He said I'm too intense with my feelings and he doesn't know how to fix this. He wants to help but he doesn't know how to make me feel better. He says no matter how much he tells me the positives it doesn't stick.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lostmyway21
Sorry he probably said he didn't know how to help me the way he wished he could or something. I did warn you guys I dissociated a bit. I can assure you he Hasent lost the plot as a therapist. I'm a difficult client to say the least. Na I can't do residential I'm on the verge of getting my first full time EMT job.
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I'm not sure of the background of your situation, but I can definitely relate to having "intense feelings" and feeling like a difficult patient, although T never validates that. I have also had trauma in my past as you have. Most of the time I feel like I can't control my emotions and in my talk with my T today, he said that I don't recognize my feelings when they are small and if I can learn how to do this they will become easier to manage. What has happened to me in my life has caused me not to acknowledge my feelings until they are they so big that they overwhelm me.
I usually fall into negativity the day after my sessions. Anyway I am telling you all of this because we are starting DBT to help me be able to manage all of the intensity of emotions that I feel. If in-patient is not an option for you, and you don't want to see a trauma specialist do you think your T would be open to trying a different modality with you? Does he know you see him as a parental figure and that his expressions of frustration with only add your feeling distressed? If not, knowing that, may be helpful to him.
Please don't feel like a difficult patient. It sounds like you are making strides and trying your best.