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But my gut instinct tells me I'm not. I think I might quite possibly be taking a lot of steps that could wreck my life & future stability thanks to an unorthodox manic phase. And I'm not sure how to stop, how to get the motivation to stop, or even determine if I want to.
The lines between "right & wrong" "correct & incorrect" are even more blurred, worthless than they usually are. I've been notorious for being so under control. Despite my ASPD, I lead a very normal life with relatively healthy relationships... I'd have posted this there, but the issue is not that. It's the mania.
It is making everything increase tenfold. I'm being flirtatious & manipulatively provocative with pretty much anyone. And I'm not even hiding it well, which I should be because I have a long-term boyfriend who is incredibly important not only to me but to my wellbeing... I've been leeching money from his Mum's bank account. I even have been compounding my problems just to gain attention & get out of doing tasks that I just don't feel like completing. A thing's/person's importance to me doesn't even seem to matter when it comes to the impulses now; not even myself & that admittedly scares me. This is beginning to encompass everything.
The problem isn't the behaviour... It's the potential results. While I am all for having a good time, I would never desire it at the expense of what little keeps me safe & held-together. Anyone with any bit of advice would really be appreciated!! I'm a bit at a loss right now.
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