Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
I've been progressively slipping into that dark hole....and I realize much of it is due to my inaction with fearing some very important issues that I'm faced with (unemployment running out soon - no full time work - possibility of losing my home, as a single mom - feeling so alone)....
...When I get to this place, I find myself incredibly silent and empty... 
....I saw T today, and he decided to take a "tough love" approach with me. Telling me that he always thought of me as someone who didn't back down to challenges and that he would have to change his view of me....that my life is better than a lot of people, many people have it rougher than I do, so don't start feeling sorry for myself...that my life is a lot better than it was...etc.
...I felt awful before my session....and even worse after my session.
I asked him if he was minimizing what I'm dealing with. He said no, but then started reciting horrors of people who survived 40 days in the water surrounded by sharks, and how what I'm dealing with is "cake" compared to that.......which felt minimizing to me.
He told me it was "tough love"....Well, it's not working for me. Not at all.
T will be going on vacation in a couple weeks, and I have one more individual session before he leaves. I'm wondering if maybe it'd be worthwhile to give myself a few weeks of distance to try to "snap out of this funk" on my own. Now that I know how he sees me, I don't want to risk feeling any worse. |
Mixedup_emotions: I am sending you I big hug!I know what it is like with unemployment issuses. Not only the financial part but the whole emotional strain that takes itīs told on even the strongest of people! I have always thought about this situation when someone also have to support a child. In my world- I see no difference of being in a lake sorrounded by sharks and raising a kid on a low income, fearing loosing all your income, apartment and probably being threwed into pieces bit by bit EMOTIONALLY during that process. There is no difference ( well apart from the psychical part of being in cold water and so on
) when faced with a tramatizing scary situation where we as people fear for our safety on all levels we all sort of fight, flight or freeze as a coping mechanism. Itīs basic and there it no need to minimalize that fact! No need for though love on this one...well unless you have tons of job offers in hand and donīt want to work. ( It does not seem to be the case). Sometimes we run into a screwed social situation or in a lake with sharks without knowing it or how to get out. Itīs sounds to be like your T want you to fight on this one given though love. ..hmm well you seem to freeze on this, so is though( cold) love a good approach? I think validation, love, support and encouragement is a better approach on this one
Then you may have some emotional resovouir ( spelling) in order to take up the fight. Tīs are not supposed to minimalize our problems, they can give examples of people in other situations who have made it through and coped, ( as in given hope). To minimalize and not validating our feelings in just a emotional disaster waiting to happen. I hope you will tell him how you felt after the session and I can totally understand how you feel at this point.