The only thing is, I have socialised before. I did it for years. My depression was just as bad as it is now, except back then I had a nervous breakdown haha. The only reason I socialized before was because it was the "done thing" but eventually I realised it was basically just another full time job (on top of my real full time job) so I quit it. I got sick of pretending to have fun and pretending to care about everyones problems and I decided I was not going to fake it anymore. I was doing what seemed like 40 hours a week at a "socialising job" and I wasn't even getting paid!!! (not literally, i mean I got nothing out of it whatsoever). It was a huge relief to stop all that BS and it definitely reduced the stress and boredom in my life by 100000.

Thats what I mean when I say im not interested. I'm not scared of it, I'm not (insert other excuse here), it's boring, and I get nothing out of it, and there is only so long you can do something for other peoples benefit before you get sick of it and drop them. I'm just not interested. I know I'm not the only person in the world like this, I'm not the exception. There are plenty of people out there just like me!