Hey, sorry you're having such a time right now. i don't have any good advice... just wanted to lend an ear. i do relate and have done provocatively manipulative things in my past, like errr... last weekend.

perhaps though, the behaviour is the problem, or part of the problem. you say it's not, because i think you might like to continue it. you're getting something you need/or think you need out of the behaviours. but they and their end results could be very problematic, destructive, disastrous.

i'm not sure how to stop or change it. i think you're on the right track with analyzing it and figuring it out and looking for advice. maybe trying to focus on the positive outcome you want, like the positive relationship you've got going. it's more of a long-run thing, a good relationship, but the rewards are immense.