well... i guess i would have some trouble with trusting him...

he seems to have something of a history of emotional affairs. so if you were his girlfriend... how would you feel about him having relationships with other women the way he had one with you while he had a girlfriend?

he seems to have a history of that... and history is likely to repeat unless he makes a committed effort to learning to change his behaviour and... is he going to do that?

so... if you were to have a relationship with him and he were to have an emotional affair, how would you feel about that? if you would be okay with it then I guess there is no problem... if you wouldn't be okay with it then I guess you need to have a chat to him about whether he is willing to make a committment to changing his behaviour BEFORE you make a committment to being with him.

maybe that is too intense... sounds like you have been friends for a while, though. sounds like it is kinda at that intense time...

it might be that...

he likes girls 'fighting' over him. that he got some kinda kick out of that. that he likes the drama. i guess you need to think about whether you would like a life like that... or not.

relationship councelling could be an option. to learn stuff to try and keep the lines of communication open...

but then it might be the case that he just doesn't have good interpersonal boundaries and he gets very intimately involved with a number of women... would you be okay with that?

i don't know. honestly... i don't know. i'm not very good at relationships lol.

but then... i guess... i've been burned. and there is no way, there is no %#@&#! way that is going to happen again. and what that means is that i've decided... i'd rather be alone than be with someone i wasn't sure 100%. and so... i am alone... but it might be... that you are prepared to comprimise more than me... i dont' know.

(i just mean that i'm likely to be alone forever and i guess there is probably a middle ground that i haven't managed to find)

um... i guess what i'd be worried about is the pattern of seeking emotional support / connection from people outside when it is more appropriate to seek that emotional support / connection from within the relationship. or to go to some kinda councelling to make the committment to figure what is going wrong with the relationship rather than emotionally cheating...

there is of course such a thing as a fling... that is what i tend to do. of course i'll probably be alone forever in terms of relationships... but that doesn't mean i have to forgo sex HELL NO!!! and thus I have various 'arrangements' at different times. which is kinda okay (sometimes). and... there is no committment / expectation in terms of being faithful or anything. so those can be fun... but i guess the main trouble is that one person can get more attached than the other and then someone is going to get hurt...