I wish I had an answer for you. My father in law appears to be developing early AD, and he's quite angry and in major denial about any memory problems. It's almost led to a separation a couple of times for my inlaws, and my mother in law is depressed and way over-stressed. Not only does she have to handle much more herself, and check over what he does without bringing attention to any errors (at least that's how she's handling it right now), but she has to deal with his anger, accusations, and now increased drinking. She's tried to talk to him about it. She's talked to us about it. His sons have tried to talk to him about it. All we get is denial and anger. And then he blames her for what anyone else says. It's awful.

She tried calling his doc once, and later writing a letter about his behavior and problems. The doctor pretty much backed down. My father in law is used to being in charge. He's not really mean or intimidating, it's just that people have always deferred to his feelings.

Unfortunately, in the early stages it can be very very difficult to get someone to go to the doctor. It's about fear, I think. And so the fear creates denial and other defense mechanisms. Family dynamics also have a huge impact. My husband's family has thought of doing an intervention type approach, but my mother in law fears he would leave. At this point, she'd rather have her marriage and deal versus risking the marriage to get him to go to the doc.

There are a few support groups for early phase AD. Not many, but a few. If the family wants to check that out, they may find it helpful. Regular AD support groups tend to attract caregivers of those who are more advanced. Their issues are different from the early phase folks, and it can also be upsetting to hear about what might be coming down the pike when you need help with what is there now.

The only other suggestion I know of is to try to find a psychologist who specializes in geriatrics, preferably geriatric assessment. They may be able to advise the family on what has worked in getting clients to come in for assessment.

Good luck!

gg