Please Irish, everyone here wishes to help you. I felt as you did when my daughter was two, and my depression was very high. I too wanted the pain to end and was not thinking about ending my life in any way. I drank alcohol which I was not at all used to, and then took a lot of my medication. This was all without thinking I wanted to end my life. While blacked out, fortunately I called my brother long distance and he called another brother long distance and the paramedics came through my back window. My daughter was upstairs sleeping and it was the middle of the afternoon. I woke up in ER with charcoal tube down to my stomach. I was completely oblivious to my intentions. MY therapist completely turned me around when she told me the greatest predictor that a child would commit suicide was a parent's suicide. Get a safety plan, go to the hospital to keep yourself safe if need be. Call someone.

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