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Aug 17, 2012, 02:13 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,565
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Quote:
Originally Posted by franki_j
So I guess my question is, how long did it take you guys to have a somewhat "normal" converstion with your T? Or were you just able to do this the first time? I think that if I am able to keep this up then maybe I won't feel as embarrassed talking to her about my feelings for her, or about my own desire to be a therapist, or about some things that are just hard in general to talk about.
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Hi Franki..
I can relate to what you experienced. You had a crisis event, and your therapist really came through for you.. and afterward there was a shift in your relationship with her. I think how it works, is that before this crisis event, you were experiencing negative transference in therapy. Because of your early relationships, you might be expecting rejection, criticism, judgment, etc. from your therapist. So when you reached this crisis point where you *had* to rely on her more than you ever planned on, and she was just *there* - - she came through. She didn't abandon you.. she accepted what you thought of as the worst of you.. with compassion and caring. You were not rejected. As a result, you had what's called a "corrective experience." Your therapist provided you with an entirely different experience. And you found out that when push comes to shove, even the worst of who you are isn't bad enough to make your therapist turn her back on you. She really does care about you! And that cannot be bought.
So now you're in therapy, and the previous anxiety you felt about being criticized, judged, misunderstood, rejected - have dissipated. You're more relaxed.. you trust the relationship. It's "holding" you. Your therapist did a great job - and I'm so glad you are getting what you need.
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