hey, we ALL rag on each other if we see something "off" in the T r/s - it's how we protect and take care of each other, and keep ourselves honest, which is crucial to having a successful outcome. it's like you're saying the r/s is on one side, and the T is on the other side - like there are two of YOU. A T shouldn't be contributing to that splitting of your mind and feelings, which is kinda what your T is doing. My T told me, I can be your T, or I can be your boyfriend - I can't be both. And since he was my T first, he can't be my boyfriend. So yeah, we're all like, what part of that does your T not understand?? That's why we're a little upset with him messing with your head - it's like wtf dude.