Thank you! And yes, I think it is a combo of both getting the job and having what CM called a "corrective experience." I think that for me, getting the job boosted my confidence and made me feel like not such a loser in front of my T, who is super succesful, which is intimidating for me.
But I also think that T seeing me at my worst and having her be totally there for me and accept me at my worst and let me know that she cared about me made a huge difference as well. Last week, after my horrible week, we were talking about something completely different, and all of a sudden I burst out with, "I am SO embarrassed about last week," and I just buried my face in my hands. She asked why, and I told her it was embarrassing to have another person see me "like that," meaning being so depressed, self-harming, etc. But she said there was nothing wrong with that and that there is nothing wrong with having intense feelings and sharing them with her; in fact, she wants me to share them with her whether I am happy or sad. So hearing her say that and having her see me at my worst and be accepting of that have also influenced me.