Lee Ann, it sound like they stay with you when they come out. If so, they need to make plans to stay with one of your brothers!

I have the reverse situation. When Karla and her family come to town, I simply don't exist! All the syblings get together and I'm totally left out. Left out of seeing all my kids together again, seeing all my grandkids, etc. It's not easy, but I've learned to accept how things are. Right before I joined here, it happened for the first time and I landed in a psych ward. It didn't seem to matter to any of them. Oh, well...

It's painful, but I'm still learning to accept more and more.

If I was you, I just wouldn't plan anything special. If you cook dinner for them and they choose to go elsewhere, they can eat left-overs for lunch the next day.

It's just a thought, but if you switch your mind set to HOPING they do something else, it may not be as upsetting when they do.

Good luck, Sweety. You don't deserve that kind of treatment!