I, on the other hand would prefer that dissociation did not rule my world so much. I have been working on breaking the dissociation triggers for a year, but it seems to be just as strong as before. I hate coming across to others like I don't care...it horrible that my emotional responses are so numb to the point that I do come across like I "don't care" I don't care about death", or "abuse" or anything else. It's a horrible way to be towards others.