I would say not to take your meds in the doses you want. This can be very unsafe. See if you can get your doctor to work on another medication or uping your dose but please do not do it on your own. The feelings you are having are not uncommon with depression. Depression is trying it's hardest to beat you down. Depression makes us feel unwanted and alone by keeping us isolated or quiet. By keeping us confused and lost depression just gets another edge on us. You see I live with this illness and at this time I can see back what it was doing to me. Depression is very powerful but it is possible to live with it. I am saying this today. Tomorrow is another day. I wish you all the luck in the world.