Wow, make me dizzy Hamster lol
I think you sound like you would like to date. And that's a fun, healthy thing to do. I think you can overcome any obstacle with your intelligence. You're a smart lady. Reason through the rejection possibility, like you are doing. It's the balance, the game of love, we all lose sometimes. Any thing can happen, you could fall in love with someone and they leave you or they could die, or you could find a great partner and have a great long time together.
But your health has to come first, must stay stable.
How about take a look at the online dating? You don't have to really go on a date with anyone unless it feels really safe. If you're comfortable, put a profile of yourself and see who pops up (no pun intended lol).
I tried one of the websites quite a few years ago, it didn't pan out. I ended up meeting the current man through friends who set us up. But how else do you meet eligible men these days? Coffee shops, bars?
No harm in just checking it out, imho. Plus, I would enjoy the stories you would tell us about what you find there!