But heres a question, whenever i do my old activities, I think of them as bad, I used to be very violent minded as of like fighting shooting killing etc. I also have a tendency of thinking i am not in control and I control myself. I usually have these ups and downs, first i am usually like "I dont have the hope of overcoming OCD" then soon later on I have the will power of it. I feel so confused of who the heck I am now, I mean, I can't go back to my old self because my old thoughts were so violent and stuff, I used to read scary stories(which is what got me OCD) I dont actually like the old self now, becuase I was afraid that if I were to go back to my old self, I wouldve done bad things. Well my old self wasn't like SUPER bad, I was in control, I knew how to cope like a normal person, I was happy and a outgoing good person. I want those traits, OCD changed me and now I'm more of just a good sided person of me. Its reall hard to explain. I guess I was an average person until now. :/ Any help?