Hi LMo...

Definetely sounds like a boundary issue to me. Happens to me all the time too. My family HAS to be out doing something I don't like doing (or can't) and they make me feel pretty darn awful.

It's perfectly reasonable that you want to at least have a vague idea about plans before they come along. And the whole being emotionally prepared thing, I definetely hear you there! I need a lot of forewarning if I'm expected to visit my family, but it rarely happens. And when I'm not sure of something, I'm guilted.

I've read a book that I think you might enjoy. Its about setting boundaries. When I can remember the title, I'll make sure you get it if you want? It was recommended by my first counsellor, and its really useful. (Its got a Christian backing which I'm not fond of, but its quite easy to read regardless!)

Take care of yourself. Its not your fault that your stepmom is being insensitive and inconsiderate.

***hugs*** to you