Thanks for taking the time and having the courage to post all of that on here! It sounds like you are ready to get some help, and that is great. I don't know how it is in Canada, but is it possible for you to go to your regular doctor and get a referral for a therapist? If not, I agree with above that I hope some Canadians will be able to point you in the right direction.

I do think getting help is the right step, and I think there is always hope to get better. Is there anyone in your life who you trust, who you could start telling the truth to? Maybe it's your mom or maybe it's someone else. It could be a good start.

Anyhow, I hope you keep posting on here and that you begin to get the help you are looking for.