I dont even know what to say anymore. Where is the joy in anything? I barely get by I just keep thinkning it will get better damnit but everytime it does it seems like it is only for a moment then everything dives into an even darker place than before. I'm so tired of feeling last on everyones list, I feel so unbeautiful, so alone, so dead. Is it possible to drown in your own tears? Sometimes I wish it was...I can barely even leave the house anymore to do anything because I dont see the point. I feel unloved, worthless, stuck, sometimes it is so hard to think positive when reality is just a big ball of bs.............