Hello Chewy....No need to apologize for whatever the length of your post happens to be. Glad you posted. I think it would be a good time to see a doctor and ~or psychologist. Perhaps a grief counselor. Mind altering drugs....not really a good idea. (Personally I'm not a fan anyway, but especially when you've got other stuff going on.) It'll just complicate things. Best of luck..... ps....My heartfelt opinion, leave diagnosis to people qualified to do it. There are a lot of caring professionals out there to help get you back of the road to a better place.