i can't celebrate my dads birthday this sunday. my parents both alcoholics, so they are having his birthday at Rumbottoms [a bar], and they don't want me & my brothers to come with. c'mon.. i mean? he's my father, and we're part of the family too! anyways.. mom has been paying absolutely no attention to me and my brothers ever since her & my dad got back together [they had a time where they came close to divorce but mom came crawling back to him]. it makes me feel even more & more useless & think "why am i even here if no one wants me here?" ..my parents go out every night that my dads work schedule makes it possible. they always go to rumbottoms, or lucky dogs [bar]. my dad is off work for the next two weeks.. which mean they'll go to bars every night for the next two weeks. its sad because i even talk to my brothers and ask them if they feel the same way, and they do. & they're littler than me. and i try telling my mom that.. but then i get grounded & yelled at, and told of how stupid and how much of a ***** i am.... i'm sick of all of this... i really am. i cannot live another 3 years in this house like this. they have less & less money to buy me clothes [which i desperately need.. i have 1 pair of black pants that fit, and 3 shirts that fit], and they wonder why they dont have money? its obvious.. they spend it all on eachother going to bars.. i really miss my old parents.. before they got back together they paid attention to me & my brothers.. and now.. they dont. i am constantly told how useless and how much of a 'brat' i am, even though i really dont do anything to deserve that. whenever i try to talk to my parents about how they've been, and how i feel.. they tell me to go 'suck my thumb and grow up'.. and i'm 15 years old. i wont make it much further if things keep going on like this.. please. i need as much advice and help, and people to talk to as i can get. i know it wont help my family problems.. but it will help all of my emotional problems.. there is no more hope for my family. everything is only going to go downhill.. in my family, there is no talking about problems without being grounded and screamed at. there is no reasoning. my parents do not want to hear what they dont want to hear.. like.. really how horrible of parents they have been being. i miss my old life.. what has happend to us? ....