I wish I could wave a wand and rescue you from this situation. You need to start hiding money first and foremost. That will give you options. Second, play on your team. Think it through meticulously. Think on it from every angle. If you are close to your family then get there and let them be your support system for the immediate time being. It is imperative you get out before there are children involved or he pops the question, which in my experience of your situation is a control tactic to keep you under his thumb. Run, and dont ever put yourself in a room alone with him after you do. But make sure before you run that you will do so successfully, and get out of his reach for good. Do not think on starting over, do not think on the snowball of everything that MIGHT happen. Just break it down and start with this one step. remove yourself from the emotional nightmare you are in. Dont compromise on this. Find a way out now. Every possible happiness in your future between now and your natural death many many years from now depends on this decision. Good luck. I know you can do this.