I have kind of been in your shoes. I think you have to let her know though that she needs help with the drinking. Right now from what I am reading you are enabling her by being "sweet" and understanding. It is very hard to keep doing that. I did that for many years. I went to all the AA meetings with my husband and gave him my full support. After a few years of sobriety for him he returned to the drinking. It killed him 4 yrs ago. This is the path your wife is on and it is so so sad. Maybe you should try al-anon for yourself. still let her know you are there for her but she still needs the help. Good luck and stick around here...we have strong shoulders