I appreciate the replies. To be more clear, I hate my meds during my depressive episodes for the same reason one would hate their sunscreen after they get sunburned. It gets you all oily and sticky, but didn't help you. If that makes any sense lol. And to answer Blue Poppy, Klonopin is a benzo. My hatred for Benzos is just a personal philosophy. Any drug that is ADMITTED to have major negative effects on the body once you are hooked on them should be put in that last resort box next to ETC and other more major treatments. But because they are cheap, they work, and if you take them as prescribed there is little to no chance of any major side effects they are handed out like skittles. But then you try to stop them its like you are coming off of heroine after 20 years. I feel in a way that I was in such a depressed state last year and was having the occasional panic attack that whatever the doc threw at me I was gonna swallow. But in retrospect, I had 3 major panic attacks before Klonopin, and 2 after, and my General Anxiety Disorder was basically cured by Zoloft for 3 years prior to last year, so why didn't we give the ssri/snris a chance to fight the anxiety instead of going right to benzos. Now 10 months later my Psych tells me he will not recommend coming off of benzos, slowly, until we have found an antidepressant that stabilizes me 100%. In essence I am stuck taking an substance that is harder to come off of the longer you are on it until I find another substance stabilizes me enough lol. Whatever I wont get on my soap box about benzos. I am on them and wont stop taking them until my psych sees it fit. I trust my doctor, I just dont trust my brain to do what my doctor expects it to.