I am sorry that you are going through this. I do not deal with the same thing but I do have an ADHD son and in trying to understand and help him in the best way I can, I did a lot of reading and research on ADHD. One of the things I would try and do was place myself in his shoes to try and understand what he is going through.

What a pity your wife cannot do the same for you. You are right - apparantly she doesn't get the picture but even if she did, there is no excuse for poking and labeling in an ugly way. I have no idea what to suggest. Noboby should be treated like that.

I am really sorry you do not have the support and understanding of your wife. It doesn't even sound as though she wants to understand.

I wish I could help.