(((Rose))),

I can relate to that wish for one person to see my side and stand up as well.

Rose, it sounds like your mother is extremely ignorant and simply doesn't care about the feelings of others. I know it is hard to be around someone like that, you are such a sweet and sensitive person, so it is harder for you to interact with that kind of person. The "men" that are around her are there for a reason, she picked her husband and he most likely is just the kind of "passive" man that lets her lead. And your brother was trained to do the same. And your sister is an apple that clearly doesn't fall far from the tree in that respect either.

I am so sorry that you have this kind of family, but unfortunately this "does" happen and if anyone doesn't play by the "queens" rules, they are just not accepted. But you are discribing a woman who is a narcisist Rose, and they don't have the capacity to have empathy for others. And they are ignorant selfish people that "can" put on the charm when they want to. And yes, they use "money and things" as power to either ensure they are adored or to punish when they feel threatened in anyway.

This is not "your fault" or that "you are unworthy in any way" though I know that doesn't stop that sense of being left out. But you would not truely enjoy yourself anyway Rose, because now you know the game and you don't want to play it, yes, it is shallow and selfish. It sounds like you have a "Mommy Dearest" situation going on. I am refering to that Joan Crawford story. Well, these women are definitely out there, and they only really care about themselves. Your mother is too fragile inside to allow herself to "love" anyone. These kind of women do hurt their children in different ways. You are best to consider her "dead" and do your best not to allow yourself to pay attention to how they live their lives.

I can't blame you for being upset, after all, as I said, you are a very kind and sensitive person. And it is hard to be around others that have no cares for others.

Rose, don't let this get you down, you have been gaining so much ground and it shows. You deserve to keep growing and healing so don't let this interfere with that process. I truely feel that you will eventually gain your own happiness down the road.
I really do.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes