Hi cleaning up, thank you for your reply

For me it's the negativity causes problems mostly anxiety and shaking and sweating etc. A long time ago I did get self pity etc however at that time it was expected and by not allowing myslef to feel that made things worse. However now it's different it other people in my life now and future thats causing problems as much as in hoplessness to not react positively or in a helpful way for myself.

Wish you all the best