"having a plan that involves my body and having fun usually helps me turn off thoughts about my therapist and my twice a week therapy hours. " TentativeConnection >> I think that is DEFINITELY what I need more of. It's just so hard to figure out a plan like that without social support or the money to pay for a class or something. I try to go running but unfortunately I can't be busy running 24/7! I'd get injured!

ECHOES> I used to think I wanted to be a therapist, even growing up, but I think I realize now that I'd have a hard time carrying such difficult stories. I'm too self blaming and am not sure I'd be able to recover if I were unable to help a patient in the way s/he needed.

I think reading about all of this stuff is a distraction from painful feelings, yes, and I'm okay with being distracted from painful feelings -- I just wish I had DIFFERENT distractions from the ones I use.

I did lots of cleaning and some exercise this weekend. That kinda helped.