Hi hockeymom,

I do understand where you're coming from, somewhat.

Personally, I really believe in "til death do you part", but I also know that both sides of the couple have to be equally devoted to this concept. If they aren't, it isn't going to work. Plain and simple.

I'm not sure why you're putting off the divorce for a few years (due to finances). What does that mean? Until a house is paid off or something like that?

My ex and I were lucky in that we didn't own squat, just owed money. So we went bankrupt and then divorced. He kept the home, as I couldn't afford payments anyway. I kept my school loan. Pretty simple there. It does become much more complicated when custody is brought into account. First, you need to determine if you can possibly do 50-50 custody. That's what's usually best for the children. From there, income levels & child need are determined through some sort of charting system the courts have.

That's how the court decides who gives what amount of money. Personally, I highly recommend that you work through mediators to both 1) Avoid the court and 2) Make the process less painful, more give & take.

In the meantime, I really do think that you should avoid dating. If you feel frustrated with excessive energy, go to the gym regularly. Pick up a fun class at a local community college. Something that will get you into a healthier state of mind, yes, but it won't cause pain to others (or yourself, in the long run).

Hugs sent your way!