Thank you for asking SAWE!

I am doing ok. Not good -- very very sad about T. But I am more productive at work when I don't get worked up into a confused rage 3-4 mornings out of the week, and I have more time.

I have pretty much decided this is it, though . Still can't quite bring myself to call a new T, but I do know I probably need one to at least walk me through the fallout.

He sent a couple messages last week -- one to just say he hoped I was doing ok and that I would reach out if I started doing really badly, the other to say he was going out of town but I should still reach out if things were bad. In the first one, he did say he had started going over his notes and e-mails. But... it didn't really make me feel better. It gave me a tiny amount of hope, but mostly it feels like it's way too late. I didn't respond to either, not really knowing what to say.

I'm going to send him an e-mail tonight letting him know where I'm at right now. Haven't decided whether to post it here. I so wish this wasn't happening.