Quote:
Originally Posted by Emptty
I'm starting to think I've never "gotten over" my depression, not even a little.
It's like I fool myself, when things work out I feel good so I tell myself I'm happy, but faking it exhausts me and I end up falling right back into a depression that feels even worse than the one before.
I feel like it will never get better and if it does, it won't last.
I wish life wasn't so hard. I feel alone. I just want to curl up and cry but if I start, I'll be up all night crying and won't be able to stop.
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I think that when you are in depression it feels as if you have always been in depression and always will be. That perception is false...it is part of depression.
Your second paragraph is hard to understand. If you feel good when things work out, isn't that basically being happy? Nobody is happy all the time. I don't think anyone is even happy most of the time.
If you're talking about faking happiness...that just doesn't work. You will only end up more confused.
With some people depression is a recurring theme. The only thing you can do is enjoy and make the most of the times when depression isn't present.
Life is hard for most people. The world can be a very cruel place. Most people have a thick layer of protection that keeps them from seeing or feeling bad about the bad things going on in the world. Some people have a thinner layer of protection. I don't know what the source of your depression is so I don't feel comfortable going any further with this. I hope things get better for you.