i hope that you're still reading here and will post again. i know that my advice was blunt. if i had not seen so much pain in your post, i would have gone on and not replied to you.

please understand that your wife really does need to go to a treatment center. she's gonna be mad at you but if she gets into treatment and does a turnaround, you'll have her back. it's hard work. very hard. i put one of my children in treatment once. she was furious with the family. but was grateful afterwards.

i understand your feelings of trying to stay under the radar, but unfortunately the disease of addiction doesn't allow us that luxury. trust me, you'll be shocked when you find out how many people that you know are in the same boat. i wish you the best of luck and please do post again if you feel the need. i'm not "cranky", just really concerned for your family. xoxox pat