Actually, your Q really isn't that unusual or rude!

It's more of a "frank reality" of life. One that society tries to overlook. When I was a teenager, it was very popular and expected for a girl to douche regularly. Otherwise, general society had this view of girls being smelly. Very sad really.

Several years later, I learned in college that douching is horrible for a woman's vagina! Ridding the system of "healthy bacteria" and inviting bad bacteria to stick around. Since then, I stick to purely showers. I also use simple soaps, not "flowery" ones, as my body really doesn't like those! I often get itchy and irritated down below when I use Caress (or some soap like that). I am happy to wash up before sex with my bf, because I wouldn't want to smell or taste funky!

Due to my SA history, I do have a harder time pleasing my bf through oral sex. I will try very hard if I have to, but I'd certainly rather not (as it brings up bad images in my head). However, he enjoys the experience as much as anyone else, and it would be wrong for me to hold that back from him because of my negative history.

He doesn't need to wash up beforehand, He's pretty clean. Nothing smelly or slimy. I think that you somehow got some negative images stuck in your head of what "private parts" are like? Now, everyone isn't the same. Some people are cleaner than others ~ some sweat more easily. Ask them to clean up. Most people wouldn't complain!

Hope that helps you understand the private parts a little better. Best wishes!