Quote:
Originally Posted by Screenager
Every once in a while I'll get curious about some aspect of T's life, for example I've been wondering if her degree in psychology enables her to "analyse" people in every day situations, or silly stuff like that. And today she mentioned that she lives alone, even though I know she has a boyfriend of several years, so I became really curious and was tempted to ask why they don't live together.
But can I actually ask her something like that...? The "analysing people" thing might be okay, but is the other question too personal?
Have you ever asked your T questions like that, just out of curiosity about their life?
I mean, they know and ask so much about us... and my T tends to self-disclose a lot anyway...
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there are no limits on question asking in my therapy sessions, that said my therapists answers are always in the context of how that answer relates to me...
Me - are you a lesbian?
Therapist no Im not, Are you?
Me yes
Therapist - how does that make you feel?
Me - that you're not or I am?
Therapist - both or you choose?
me - do you have any moral judgement on lesbians?
Therapist - no, you didnt answer my question, how does knowing Im straight, with out any judgments for or against lesbianism, and you are a lesbian affect you, what are you feelings on this?
Me- lol I asked purely because I was curious not because I have have a problem with it, I like it that you dont have any moral judgments on lesbianism , makes me feel safer, in general theres enough prejudices out there over lesbianism, just the other day I watched as a group of children called someone a fag just because she was holding her friends hand. I lived in such a small town that I didnt have to deal with any of that until I moved to a city, I learned very quickly not to be so open about my sexuality.
Therapist - how did seeing the girls bullied over a preconceived notion that they were lesbians for holding hands make you feel.
me- I didnt like it, I went over to the parent that was nearby and told them what I had heard and asked if I could show the children using ring around a rosy to prove a point. the parent was apalled that her child had been part of putting anothers sexuality down and said yes. the parent and I went over to the children and got a game of ring around a rosy going vamping it up for the age of the children by adding speed and attitude, then while we were all holding hands I said... hey look at all of us girls holding hands, what does that say about us? someone yelled "that we're fags" and I said "nope it says we are having lots of fun just being ourselves, everyone is different and being different is ok. then as the girls got to talking about their differences and the conversation going other ways the mom and I bowed out of their way again. the mom and I talked for a bit then I went back to my lawn chair and book. It felt good to do that with them and i was happy that they all got the point and the mom was so open to showing her daughter being a lesbian is ok.
thats how my therapist and I deal with any personal questions I ask of her. shes ok with me asking anything and I know the answers are going to relate to me and my issues.