I think it is possible to call something abuse, to acknowledge that it was abusive, without necessarily condemning the abuser to total damnation, in your mind. Sometimes people who abuse do not know they are being abusive, or if they know it partly, are pretty much out of control. But for you, it is abuse anyway. Maybe you do not have to hate someone to stand up for yourself.
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
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