Thanks. I have tried Remeron.. like everything else, the effects wear off after a couple of days.

As much as I don't want to be, I am once again on antidepressants. I asked my physician for an Rx for Celexa, since it has worked in the past. Obviously my PCP isn't a psychiatrist, so I made an appointment with a psychiatrist for Wednesday. The past few days have been a blur.. I took a bunch of Trazodone the night before last because I want to get off the Xanax.. ended up at work in a total haze, barely able to function, hiding out in the bathroom for two hours before I gave in and requested to go home early. I'm taking today off too.. last night I lay down at 8pm after I got home and just started taking Xanax until I fell asleep.. slept on and off today until almost 1pm.

Seeing a sleep specialist tomorrow.. had a phone session with my psychotherapist today.. we'll see what happens.

Had to take an extra dose of Xanax last night because I'm supposed to have a new roommate move in on September first, and she texted me that her dad died yesterday. So now everything is up in the air.

Can't sleep, can't work, can't function.. I can't even go grocery shopping. I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. I just want to lie down and die. I'm 32 years old and I'm so over all of this.. 32 years is too long to live in misery.. there's no end in sight. My life is in shambles. I am so done with all of this.