But for me what I think it all boils down to is the idea that asking and being denied something suggests that I don't know my "place" or my worth or something. If I ask for something and am denied it, it's because I don't deserve it...who am I to even ask, much less expect. How could I ever think I might matter that much to someone? It's like being told "No" is confirmation that I'm as awful as I think I am. Ugh.

Not that's reality. But it's definitely perception on my part.