Thanks guys. I find it really hard to be proud of anything I do. I have to tell myself I deserve something or did something well, otherwise I'll pretty much ignore it or shrug it off. When I think of what I would say to myself if I was another person, the hypocrisy is pretty interesting: by virtue of it being me, everything negative I do is amplified and everything positive minimized, while it's the reverse when it's other people.

I'm not even totally sure what it was, but I went from enjoying playing cards to getting irritable to hating myself again. (Just little things.) I absolutely hate bothering others or getting them upset or feeling misunderstood or... I guess it was somewhat of a combination tonight.

And it kinda bothers me that I've started posting around here and bothering you guys with these things.... And I haven't given a helpful reply yet... because I don't think it'll be helpful and it'll somehow make things worse and I'll say it wrong and it won't be appreciated and I'm just wasting space with it.... And even something as simple as a hug on here: why did that person deserve it and not someone else? You're picking some people and ignoring others. How would you feel if everyone else got a hug except for you?

(((((( Everyone on PC ))))))

(But wouldn't that include the spambots....)