Having been married twice and both marraige were considered "long", I learned a few things that are and are not important to me.

My first husband killed me with kindness on one hand and abused me verbally and mentally with the other.

3) THOUGHTFULLNESS!! If you're going to give me gifts, THINK about what you're giving me. Do I need it? Do I already have one? Is it something I would use? Have I mentioned I would like one? Have I mentioned a favorite color, a favorite flower?

My first husband's greatest gift, he thought, was to buy me a cumbersome hair drier... while I was in beauty school!! Why on earth would I want a hair drier when I had a huge building full of them??? I also had a very compact hair drier that my mom had given me BEFORE I started beauty school! That was one of my most disappointing Christmases EVER!!

I know I'm not your mother, but on Mother's Day, remember I AM a mother! (For Jerry, I had your child and raised the basket case I got with the package that was you! I deserve recognition for simply having bore him for nine months, the sacrifices I made in order to have a healthy child, etc.) With YOUR child, I stayed up nights with him, cleaned up his barf every time he came back from his birth mothers, took him to the dr when he came beaten up by her boyfriends). Do something special for me! Same on my birthday. If our wedding anniversary is just like any other day for you, it's not for ME. Do what it takes to remember those days and show your appreciation! I don't need new cars, new houses, diamonds, expensive cruises, or expensive clothes. I need to know YOU CARE in small ways.

4) CHIVALRY/GENTLEMANLINESS Open the door for me whether I need you to or not.

Pull out my chair at restaurants.

Walk on the outside if we're on a sidewalk. Allow me to go first through a tight squeeze, unless it would be better to break up a crowd for me instead.

What I want and NEED more than anything is YOU. I need YOU to share of yourself, your thoughts, your dreams, your TIME.