Please don't take offense, PLEASE, but if he has been doing this to you for 22 years, why have you stayed with him so long? I do not mean this in a sarcastic or mean way, I just couldn't understand how anyone could be so tolerable with some one who would do this to them.
My mom hated my dad, she use to say it was because of us 3 kids is the only reason she stayed married to him (wasn't nice to say considering how it affected us kids) well way after we were all grown up, out of the house with our own families, she was still with him up until his death last year (and still hated him) she actually seemed relieved he was gone
In her case it seemed obvious why she stayed with him, she had no career, no formal education, only finished 8th grade and had to go to work to help her mom who was divorced who had an abusive, alcoholic for a husband.
But mom could of made it on her own, she would of rcvd. alimony, she lacked self-esteem always self defeating any attempts to do anything.
I don't know your personal situation but if your husband has and is "playing games" I wouldn't stand for it if I were you, take more pride in yourself, don't continue to allow him to put you in a situation that makes you unhappy even if that means leaving him (if couples therapy can't help) but first give that a try, I don't know if you already have.
I hope things will improve for you, one way or the other, life is too short to be miserable.
Please take care
"darkeyes"