Hey ouch...I like that name...ouch...some people need the drug to help them feel normal...there are so many things to be said for meds both bad and good...the thing you got remember ouch is that taking a drug to keep yourself up isn't a bad thing...it's one of life's little pitfalls...but with the proper care and other ways to deal with your problems you may be able to live without the drug...I'm kind of new to the med thing but someone else here should be able to give you some better advice...the important thing is that you continue to seek help. I'm rooting for you...ouch...