I know already without getting close enough to smell, sight alone tells me.

I get the awful sick feeling, start shaking, heart pounding. Fear. Is it going to be the same as the last time or worse?

Your foot connects with my stomach. Your fist in my face, am I going to die tonight or will you fall asleep and leave me to cry in the dark?

Your hands around my neck, head pounding, the world around me spins and seems to move further into the distance as I fall to the ground, please dont let my life end like this, how will it be described, explained and categorised?

A sharp slap, my ears ring and my eyes water, I know that I am bleeding, I can taste it. You laugh and pull my hair and throw me aside. I hit the wall with my head, the last thing I hear is your voice.

The next time I hear your voice, I open my eyes to sunlight

My god, you say, 'what happened to you?

You deny and cry and promise and apologise and pretend not to know that the spirit from the bottle has destroyed your spirit and is slowly killing mine.