Thanks everyone. I just never thought of this "part" of me that I don't like as being the "younger me" or my "true self". I actually thought I was the only person who felt this way. I sent this in an email to my T...(I usually do this when I know I will chicken out about talking about something unless I send an email and he brings up stuff in the email.)

T,

For discussion if I ever decide to comeback and really talk about something
important:

I hate her. The person inside me. I do everything I can to get her to
disappear. I try not to acknowledge her, I try to just be what everyone
needs me to be... I just want her to go away forever and take all the bad
crap with her...

If I comeback maybe i could talk about this...right now my emotional side
has quit therapy... I'm trying not to let the logical side give in to it...

Readytostop

I don't know if I can explain all of this to T in a way that he will understand. I barely understand it...