I have T this afternoon. I am trying so hard not to email him saying I want to cancel.

I want to go in and rip up my 'trauma timeline' so bad. I want to ask for it and rip it to shreds. I want to say none of it matters. That it wasn't that bad. That I don't want to do this anymore. I want to quit. I want to cry and tell him how bad it hurts and how much I just want to forget everything.

I don't know if I can face it. I now understand why people don't want to go to T sometimes.

I really don't want to go.